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  • Writer's pictureRainy Galloso

Out of Darkness Into His Marvelous Light

Updated: Jun 2, 2023

I am humbled by the fact that I am alive and I get to share my story with the people that need to hear it the most. I want to be clear about a few things. I never thought I would actually make it to the point of sharing the moments that sculpted the woman I am today. The catastrophic evil that always seemed to find me was bound and determined to silence me and at times literally kill me since I was a baby. So much so, that every year since I was 14 I always thought, alright this is it, this is the year I die. No joke. Darkness found me and stalked me.

I am in no way a religious person. I loathe religion. My motive is to simply share my life and my experiences with God, The Father. For me, it's all about having a relationship, not having a religion. This kind of relationship is about love that empowers and champions. The kind of love that breaks the chains of oppression and frees me(you) from the things that hold me(you) back from living a whole and complete life. Religion is about legalism, controlling, silencing, belittling, and stripping away my(your) Birth Rights bestowed by God, The Father, himself. Religion tethers me(you), causing me(you) to conform to its will, expectations, and rules of performance. There is a huge difference as you can see.

For me, God isn't just God. He is The Trinity. The Father, The Son Jesus, and The Holy Spirit. To me, He is a Father. A Father who loves me beyond comparison. Jesus came as God incarnate to redeem humanity back to Himself. Jesus Christ is the Son of The Living God, who came and was sacrificed for all humanity. He was without blemish and sin and as He was crucified He took upon Himself ALL of the degradation and abhorrent evil mankind chose to take part in. He is The Savior to all. To Him, I give every praise and ounce of glory my lungs can create. The Holy Spirit is the best friend I could ever dream of having. He is kind and more gentle than a feather. He leads and teaches so precisely that I can't go wrong listening to Him. He saved my life countless times. They are one yet, each plays a different role. They are gentlemen, and gracious to heights unknown. God, The Father not only holds my(your) eternity in the palm of His hands, He is Eternity. He is Elohim. Yahweh. The Ancient of Days. He was, He is, and He is to come.

Now, I didn't used to think or feel this way at all. To be honest, I thought He hated and despised me; that I was the ugliest, most undesirable and wretched human being to Him. It has taken me many years, 40 to be exact, to understand those were complete lies that had taken root during the most depraved and traumatic moments in my life. I now understand He is unlike what most people portray Him to be. His love, extending to any universe known to mankind and beyond. His grace and his mercy is new every day and without Him my(your) existence is futile.

The most terrible lie that tripped me up for years was thinking The Father did not love me. This lie devastated me and brought me into so many circumstances that I would not have been in otherwise. I didn't understand my value and my worth in general and most importantly I didn't understand The Father's perspective. I also believed I had to be somebody other than who I was created to be; that I had to do something monumental. That I had to have some kind of ministry or business or win a medal, or I had to be perfect and perform in some other way in order for Him to accept and love me.

Having to perform in order to be loved is the lie so many of us have believed because that is what's most commonly taught. But here's the thing, it's called performance-based love and it's a complete load of crap. The truth of the matter is I never did have to do anything. He loves me for me and he loves you for you. Honestly, He simply loves us all because we are the most beautiful part of His creation, created in His image long before the foundations of the earth came into existence.

Ever since I was a little girl my journey has been understanding that I am loved by The Father and that there is no comparison to His love. His love wrapped around me and protected me from the darkness and evils of this realm, unlike any other presence or force I've ever known or read about. It protected and safeguarded me in every tragic and humiliating moment, every breath, and every decision, especially the decisions I made out of pain, confusion, and chaos. I look back at my life and see every moment I have been alive, He has not only been ever-present but, He has gone before me and prepared the way with such precision, love, and grace that I know I owe every breath and every moment to Him and Him alone.

I also wisely see that the horrible things that happened to me were by no way His doing. They happened due to choices made by me or others. They were my missteps and here's the beautiful thing about that. No matter the circumstances, no matter my choices and the ugliness my choices birthed, He used it all to humble, refine, sharpen, and bring about goodness and beauty for me. He knew every moment of my life. Every choice I would and will ever make, every obstacle that has and will challenge me, and every dark moment I have and will ever experience. I believe the design of His love is so complete and whole that all I must do is call out and when I do the Law of Love that He is bound too, covers, and protects me with precision only He can provide.

That does not mean I get to do whatever I want without consequence. In those moments of pain I must turn to Him instead of seeking refuge in the bottom of a bottle, pills, a joint in my mouth or in the arms and beds of strangers. As I look back and ponder the darkness that once captivated me and every area of my life, I realize how powerful my story is and how pertinent it is to so many that I share my struggles, my battles, and my wars. More importantly, I must share my triumphs, my victories, and how I overcame the living hell that I did.

By the time I was 3 I had already experienced sexual abuse by family members and by the time I was 12 I had experienced physical, mental, emotional, and even more sexual abuse and started to self mutilate and I was placed in a mental facility for children. Shortly after, I ran away from home. By the time I was 14 I had been raped three times, was a victim of pedophilia many times over, struggled with weight issues, severe self-esteem issues, severe depression, self-loathing, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and one lame half-hearted attempt to end my life. I was so desperate and starved for love. By 15 I had been forced into prostitution, smoked crack-cocaine, sniffed cocaine, had an eating disorder called bulimia, and drug addiction and ended up in a second mental facility. By age 16 I had been raped again and suffered from an undiagnosed personality disorder. At age 21 I was jumped by eight other prostitutes as revenge for not going to work for their pimp and later that night I was shot at. I was a mess, my life was a mess, and was lost in a survival mode that can’t really be described with words.

I know there are many out there that have experienced a childhood similar to mine and the side effects it left behind wondering why it all happened. Although you lived or still live in the midst of hellish darkness, it is for those of you that have survived: childhood domestic violence, adulthood domestic violence, for those that have been left behind, unloved, shamed, rejected, forgotten, discarded, labeled, uncared for, stepped upon, forsaken, betrayed, raped, sexually molested/assaulted, mentally, physically, religiously, financially and emotionally abused and for those that lived or that still live in a living hell and made to feel like unworthy pieces of garbage, to the extent that not even God, The Father that created you would give you a second thought, it's for you that I share my story.

I am here to refute those lies that are trying to stay relevant in your mind and your soul. You are worthy and worthy of the best. You are worthy of being loved. You are worthy of knowing who you were created to be. You are worthy according to the truth and destiny of eternity placed within you by God The Father who numbered the hairs on your head. God, The Father who laid the foundations of your soul and DNA. God, The Father that picked your eye color, the shape of your nose, that shape of your eyes, your butt (yup I said that), your beautiful feet and buck teeth, the freckles on your face, the curls in your hair, and the beautiful color of your skin. God The Father, has intricately woven every fiber of your being with the same amount of energy and precision that He created the universe with. He has declared you are worthy beyond your imagination and beyond what you can see.

It is so important for you to know that you have the power to overcome. You have the most powerful and protective force known to creation backing you up, cheering you on, and championing your every breath and every step you will ever take. God The Father, also known as The Father of Lights loves you with unbridled love and passion; it is beyond comprehension. It says in Psalm 32:7 that He is our hiding place and He keeps us from trouble; that He surrounds us with songs of deliverance. In Psalm 23 it says that even though we might walk through the valley of the shadow of death He is with us. I don't know about you but that makes me stop and think about all the dark places I was in and how alive these passages were and still are.

The Father wants you to recognize the sacred beauty He wove into your DNA as He was creating you. He wants to teach you how to honor that and in turn, you will learn how to honor yourself. He wants you to take your place walking in perfect peace, as you learn to ride on the breath of His dawn.

Many things that I share may be religiously illegal, offensive, or off-limits. But when you walk with The Father of Lights, there are no limits when it comes to exposing darkness. No limits exist when you choose to assault darkness with the truth, spoken in love.

My motive in sharing these things is to be an example of courage and strength. My motive is to help you understand you don't have to adhere to the old ways of religious conforming and ritualistic shame and false humility that so many have shamefully taught throughout the years. That doesn't mean you don't need a group of folks surrounding you that have aligned with God The Father and His truth and His ways. People that are living a life of honor and purity of heart. You will know these ones and that they are aligned purely with The Father by the fruits of their character. If their source is not Jesus, The Holy Spirit, or The Father of Lights, then those are not the people I speak of.

My motive is to help you discover that the things that keep you ensnared are simply at times about your perspective. How are you looking at your life? Through the eyes of judgment, fear, and self-loathing? Were you taught to hate yourself? Other times there will be things and roots of issues that might be generational that will need to be taken care of during moments in The Secret Place with Him. The more time spent in The Secret Place, the more opportunity He has to release and break off the things that hold you back.

From a place of love, I ask you this question Beloved One; If you continue to look through foggy glasses of lies and self-hate, shame, or fear how can the truth of who you truly are, ever be visible?

I declare over you, that you were created with a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind. I declare over you, not only are you important to The Father, you are intricately woven into His plan in ways that you have yet to discover. You were created for greatness. You were created to be loved. You were created to live in peace that surpasses earthly understanding. You were created to be thought of, celebrated, and loved. You were created for excellence, magnificence, and so much more than you realize. You were created to be partakers of The Divine Nature of God. You are the righteousness of Jesus Christ and stand blameless and without blemish before God, The Father.

I don't care what mistakes you made or the lies you've believed up to this moment. Wherever you are in your life, it's time to stop living according to other people's expectations. It's time to stop living a performance-based life. It's time to stop trying to please those around you. It's time to stop living according to their truth. Living that way is like a slow and painfully tragic and torturous death over and over and over again.

As the truth of my identity has been uncovered during quiet moments with Holy Spirit, in The Secret Place, the level of freedom that I walk in has increased, my eyes have been opened to the gifts I carry, understanding has been given to how it all affects people and the more powerful the atmospheric shift it brings to myself and to the world around me. This is amazing and brilliant because it is ultimately Him and His presence alone that uncovers and lays bare all that is hidden so that I(you) have a chance to live in freedom according to His perfect will. That freedom is available to everyone, not just me. I believe that this process and relationship with Holy Spirit, Jesus and God, The Father is available to anyone who is willing to surrender themselves back into the trusting hands of the one who we all originated from.

Knowing Him and being known by Him, is such a real and palpable experience available to any person no matter the color of your skin or economic status. No matter your emotional or physical disposition. No matter where you are in your life and the mistakes you've made. Just like He surrounded me with His wrap-around presence of love and protection before I found my way back to Him, He surrounds all of His creation.

Sometimes we make it harder on ourselves by holding onto bad habits that don't do us any good. Sometimes we hold on to pain we may have become addicted to and in turn, we have become dependent upon a substance too numb that pain. Sometimes it may boil down to learning to forgive someone that hurt you or, to forgive yourself because you've hurt someone else. Whatever the case may be, it may just be about a shift in perspective that's needed, or maybe a little more cleaning out of the soul is all you need.

The Father of Lights has your back and He is waiting on the edge of His seat (so to speak) in excitement cheering you on as though you've already made it because He knows the exact moment you will call out to Him. The truth of the matter is, connecting with, talking too, and communicating with The Father of Lights is so much more simple than folks have made it out to be.

Surrender is the key. You must be willing to surrender the thoughts that assail you for thoughts that He loves you. You must be willing to step out of the old and into the new things new beginnings He has for you. The journey of walking into a whole new era.

As I share these moments from my life, be encouraged that you don't have to stay wherever you happen to be. But also know that, wherever you are, it is exactly where you are to be. It's okay to be perfectly imperfect. It really is. As long as you are unwilling to stay there. And even if you aren't ready, He never ever stops loving you, protecting you, and believing in you, and do not let anyone tell you differently.

During our journey together, please know, I will always speak honestly and forthrightly. My words are spoken from a place of experience and deep love. Take a deep breath as you feel the arms of God, The Father wrap around you and feel His love encapsulate your heart and believe you are loved, for HE called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

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