Do you ever feel like you’re not allowed to fly?
Do you ever feel dead, all dried up inside?
Do you ever feel like you gotta live according to the lies?
Do you ever feel trapped inside your mind?
Feeling the pressure from every side.
Hearing the voice of fear spitting his lies.
For a split second I decide to turn and hide.
For a moment, I decide to believe the lies.
For a moment, I fall for the trick.
For a moment, I forget I hold the Sword of the Spirit not a simple stick.
I kneel, head bowed, tears flow freely.
I repeat words I’ve heard all my life.
I allow His peace to settle on me.
Each new word spoken in bold faith.
Each word represents grabbing hold of Jesus and never letting go.
Each word brings to life the truth woven into my DNA.
As each word is spoken, I remember I am unbroken.
Unstuck…
Realigned…
Reassigned…
No longer blind…
I feel His breath upon me.
I feel His power ebbing through my veins.
I feel His shadow engulf me.
I feel His love over take me.
I feel the truth of my freedom echoing in the depths.
I hear the song of Heaven filling my head.
I feel the words of Heaven forming in my mouth.
Truth flows from my lips.
The ground begins to quake.
My heart knows what’s at stake.
A resolute champion, I raise my head.
My battle cry grows inside.
My enemy cowers, ineffective are his lies.
He turns to run as my sword cuts short his stride.
Clothed with victory I hear heaven celebrating.
Humbled, I see The King approaching.
To my knees I fall, crowns cast down.
An atmosphere of love so profound.
I’m in awe of the sound.
It is, eternal...
Mystical...
Mysterious...
Supernatural...
It flows all around
It overtakes my ground
Forever In His Love I am bound
Starting from a very young age, tragedy, heartache and turmoil found me and ran me over the hot coals in ways that left parts of me hidden and captive for years to come. My experiences as a child and into adulthood left me with many breaches and fractures within my soul. My blinded heart wandered to and fro, wondering if I would or could ever be loved. I wondered if I was allowed to be loved. I wondered if I was good enough to be loved. Was I allowed to dream? Was I allowed to hope? Was I allowed to live? Would I always live my life surviving and living in fear of what each day would bring? Would I ever get to the place I saw myself getting to?
So many days and years spent paralyzed by that fear trying to consume me; too fearful to leave my home at times. For years I was treated as though my existence was a waste and held no value. I was told my dreams were too big to come true. I was told I was used goods and no one worth anything would ever love me. Worthlessness and dread consumed my thoughts. At night, darkness stalked me and tormented me relentlessly. Many nights as I lay in bed weeping, I was overcome with a hopelessness that resulted in the shackles of lies being tightened more and more around my mind.
For those of us that have experienced abuse as children specifically in the forms of incest, pedophilia or sex trafficking, it leaves our souls and the most beautiful parts of us fractured into so many pieces; we end up burrowing into a pit of nothingness, too scared to even breath unless we are given permission. We don’t know how to give or receive healthy love. We don't know how to say no. We don't know how to dream. We end up living our lives for others and seeking out masters of manipulation, control, and abuse because that is all we know.
We don't realize we are worthy of love and worthy of being protected and safeguarded. We don't know what real love looks like or tastes like and we end up living a life of perpetual cycles of hell. We are fractured and living in an inner despair that consumes our every thought. Paralyzing us and keeping us ensnared to lies that control our every breath.
Sadly, I lived 4 decades paralyzed in fear and consumed with lies. What would take me years to understand is, I was already loved. There was one that held every dream I would ever dream and every ounce of hope I would ever dare to hold onto, despite the constant despair. There was one that held every good thought I dared to think of myself. He is The Way Maker. The Miracle Worker. The Gift Giver. The Breach Healer. The Balm Of Gilead. The One Who Is Love. The Eternal Lover. The Soul Mender. The Glory King. The Kinsman Redeemer. The Life Giver and The Dread Champion of your sacred beauty, King Jesus!
Sacred One, He's already triumphed over every lie that could ever be hurled at you, and every lie you've chosen to believe. He already brought them into submission by making the ultimate sacrifice of love. The sacrifice of His life for yours. He has set out a table of divine delicacies created by His love, light and glory. Nothing can destroy what He has created and laid out just for you. He holds your freedom in His hands. His love for you never fails and is the driving force of the life that He gave you. He willingly died for you because He loves you. Nothing can ever separate you from that love. Even if you run and try to hide, His love finds you. His love is intertwined with every cell of your being. You are Him and He is you. He simply cannot forsake Himself. He loves you with a love that is undying, unquenchable, untamable, purposeful, intent, lovely, pure, righteous, and good. It is time for you to grab hold of that truth!!
During a moment in the Secret Place, Holy Spirit led me to the passage of Psalm 139 and Song of Songs 2:1-2. When I read these passages I wept. They were not tears of pain or agony but tears of refreshing and healing. For the first time, I finally began to understand, accept, and embrace that I was truly loved. That I was worthy of the birthright that had been designated to me long before I was even born. For the first time, I could breathe without fear. It is our birthright to be whole and loved, and healed. We are His sacred beauty and there is no hell or high water that can ever undo or diminish what He has decreed and set in place for us as His beloved children.
There are so many good things He has in store for us as His children. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future". The darkness was relentless to strip us of our dignity, hope, and beauty but, its plans did not prosper. Song of Songs 2:1-2 reads, "I am truly His rose, the very theme of His song. I am overshadowed by His love, growing in the valley. Yes, you are my darling companion. You stand out from all the rest. For though the curse of sin surrounds you, still you remain as pure as a lily, even more than all the rest”. His love surrounded us and protected the most beautiful parts of us and He continues to surround us as we enter into His love and rest; grabbing hold of our eternal birthright.
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