Eternal Belonging

Since the very conception of my being, my life has never been my own.

Cursed and unwanted in the womb.

Used as a pawn in battles that were never mine.

Desecrated, diminished.

Passed around, passed over.

Left behind, forgotten.

Those dearest to me stolen by a thief in the night.

So much darkness. So much pain.

Each time I reached out, it only brought new lashes

from the very hands that claimed to love me.

I learned too quickly: reaching out was not safe.

Forced to dance to another’s melody.

Forced to love in twisted ways.

Forced to smile, to pretend.

Taught to hide behind masks.

Shamed. Forsaken.

Burdened with secrets that were never mine to carry.

The exhaustion is bone-deep,

a slow death creeping through my soul.

I reach out again—

but my words fall on deaf ears.

So, alone I stand.

Waiting.

Hoping.

Hoping someone will see me—

and love me for me.

Not for beauty.

Not for what I can offer.

Not for fleeting pleasure.

But simply… to love me.

So I stand.

Alone.

Waiting.

Hoping.

Desiring a love that will stretch to the ends of the earth.

A love that is unconditional.

A love that bears burdens.

A love that is gentle, safe, and kind.

A love that leaves no scars.

A love that does not spit upon my face.

A love that covers and protects.

A love that does not betray or reject.

A love that does not silence me,

or demand I wear masks.

Some call it a fairytale.

And yet—still I wait.

In the quiet,

something brilliant breaks through,

the reality of my existence.

I am already part of the greatest love story ever told,

and the fairytale I longed for,

was mine all along.